91.1kg Demotivated day, but holding it together

Wednesday. Disappointed to not be under 90.8kg as I had over 500 deficit calories yesterday.
It's AMAZING how that demotivates me, leaving me feeling flat, like jumping back under the doona. Or like watching TV all day eating tim tams, popcorn, chips and dip, peanut butter out of the jar with a teaspoon.

But I know that weighing myself every day will have results that not always make sense, so it's ok.
I put unhelpful thoughts out of my head, just put on my sneakers and get out the door....just like Michelle says to do when those unhelpful thoughts start up.
Got up, took the girls for a walk. Today I did not wear the ankle weights since they had been giving me blisters where they join.
My heartbeat was at least 10 points down so I will wear them and put some padding underneath the area that rubs.

I burned 400 cals on the walk. Took me 1 HR 10 mins. Yesterday in the same time (but with the ankle weights) I burned 600 cals. Today I felt like giving up and going home the whole time. I felt lazy. I felt tired. I felt worm out.
I don't know why.
I am motivated. I am determined. But jeez it was hard today.
I've taken a multi vitamin in case I'm lacking something.
I have since burned 200 cals on my elliptical, so that's 600 cals burned so far today.

Breakfast: I had cottage cheese with a teaspoon of sugar, a teaspoon of lemon and a splashs of lite soy milk.
Lunch: I had a piece of soy linseed bread with an egg and some mushrooms.
Diner| I'm going to make Michelle's Thai Beef Salad from her cookbook

So I'm holding it together. I know I am and I will. It's ok. And I know it's because of my experience, but also that I am on the 12WBT and with everyone else on the WBT forum that gives me the tools, and the mindset to keep it together. I've done great with weight loss before but sometimes I lose my way, and the 12WBT is helping me so much in getting myself together, keeping myself together and hopefully, to the point that I lose a good amount of weight before this Christmas in a few months. That so many of us are doing this together is powerful too.

90.8kg

I did it, back in the 90's. I have to be careful, one bad day I'll slip into the 92's again. I'm really focusing on getting back into the 80's by Sept 12, start of the 12WBT.

Walking til 500calories are burned is something I find difficult. I can do half that just fine but I really have to push myself. The ankle weights are giving me blisters where the connect. I might TTY walking without them tomorrow.

I want to find a second exercise to do every day so I get to maybe 800 calories burned a day. Maybe the Crunch Time cardio DVD. I got the Zumba game for the Wii in the mail today from eBay. I might see how that goes. I also have the personal trainer for the Wii that I received last week.

I really have to focus on this hard and 100%. I am not working so it's just such a great time and opportunity to focus on exercise.
I did great with food yesterday, and food has been my downfall. Today I have had a soy and linseed sandwich I made with 2 slices of lite cheese, lettuce and marinated artichoke hearts. It was really nice, it tasted good for me, especially with the artichokes.

I'm really happy to be in the 90's today. I'm heading in the right direction.
Tonight I'm going to make a seafood tom yum which is high in protein, low in fat and low in cals. It feels good to know I have a good lean dinner ready to make. It feels good that already burned 600 calories today. It feels good to know that I will see a lower number in the scales tomorrow than I did today.

If I keep going like this il be back to 86 that I was when I left hospital in March. I can then head further down towards Christmas from there.
To be honest, I'm quite happy to be under 85kg.
For someone who as spent most of my adult life between 95 and 110, under 85 would be just peachy :).
Anything lower than that is a bonus!

BMR and deficit calorie calculation

I learned something so great!
This helps work out how much you want to eat and/or exercise.
I came about this because Michelle Bridges has said we need to have 7000 calories in deficit per week to lose a kilo. It just seemed insane to me. So I looked into it and this is how it works;

Calculate your BMR (body metabolic rate).. I use this one http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/metric-bmr-calculator.php

Calories eaten 1200 - BMR 1623 - calories burned 550 = deficit of 973 / 1 kg per week loss
Calories eaten 700 - BMR 1623 - calories burned 550 = deficit of 1473 / 1.5 kg per week
Calories eaten 1200 - BMR 1623 - calories burned 300 = deficit if 723 / 0.5 kg per week

So I can see that if I eat 1200 cals a day, and burn a usual 300 cals, I'll lose half a kilo.
But if I push myself to burn over 500 cals, and not go over my 1200 cals in food, then I will lose a kilo a week!
Now we're talking! I get that, and it motivates me.I 'm sure this knowledge will push me to 500 cals.
And if I eat even less than 1200 cals....and/ or burn more than 500 cals, I'll lose more than a kilo a week.

I feel empowered now.

91.4kg heading to 90kg

Current goal is to be in the 80 kilo range by Sept 12, day one of Round 3 12WBT. That is a loss of 2kg in less than 2 weeks.

Normally that would be too much to expect in two weeks for me, but I have not been losing weight so I should be able to do it. My thinking behind this goal is that if I can get into the 80's during preseason, then I will have my head in the right mindset for the 12 WBT, unlike last time where I bombed out in the first week.

91.4kg today. Yay, I was 92 yesterday. Will try to be in the 90kg range in the next day or two. I've been 92 for too long. I can do this. I'm off for exercise, my goal in to burn 500 cals, it's hard doing it while walking, seems to take forever, but with my ankle weights and my determination I'll just push harder faster.

I've been better with snack, having alot less and lower calorie ones. I'm thinking more consciously about what I snack on, rather than just blocking out thoughts of calories and 'dealing with it later'. So I bought carrots and celery the other dayfor snack. Have not used them yet, but it's a start. I bought rice crackers instead of tim tams and other biscuits. Ate half of those. I bought a packet of vanilla ice-cream low fat slices at 100cals each, and had one with some fresh strawberries the other night, it was really lovely and relatively low calorie for me.

Must remember to drink loads of water in the earlier part of the days.

Later:
I did burn 550 cals. I nearly gave up at 250 cals, then again at 350 cals, but I kept thinking that my goal was 500 cals as i had written here and I wanted to achieve it. By 400 cals the goal was close and I did not feel tired and it did not feel hard, I had a new feeling and did the final stretch to get to over 500 cals.

What I learned was that it is powerful to write my goal down here.
I also think that a 500 cal burn is needed to lose weight, in fact to make Michelle's 7000 deficit goal a week to lose 1kg it's 1000 cals a day. OMG! That can't be right.

91.7kg Sat 27 Aug

Still on the preseason 12WBT. I've learned alot. I'm recording all my food, exercise, weight etc on MyNetDiary iPad app. I've been doing exercise every day burning 250-400 cals every morning. I'm really happy with myself with making exercise a part of my every day life. Recording the food has been effective and I can feel myself improving. I can feel my head getting in a better space for losing weight.

I know it shouldn't be that difficult, I should just do it. But for some reason it's not that simple. So I use MyNetDiary. I weight myself every day. I record all my food. I exercise every day using my HRM. Sometimes when I want to stop exercising I remember Michelle's words....turn into a robot, stop thinking, just do it.

I have found a low cal delicious meal. Tom Yum Soup. I use a packet mix, 600ml water, 100g udon noodles, marinara mix from Woolworths, some chinese vegetables like baby bok choy sliced into more edible pieces, some thickly sliced Swiss fresh mushrooms (fresh shitake are nicety add too). All I add is a splash of lime and few snakes of fish sauce. It's fabulous.

I'm getting more and more focused. Pre season is exactly what I needed. The hardest things not eating all the things I like, apple pie and vanilla ice-cream, lemon meringue pie, almond magnums, macadamia and caramel Sara lee ice-cream, popcorn, tea & biscuits etc.

I plan to be in the 80's before the Round 3 starts and closer to the 70's than the 90's by Christmas.

92.5kg A week on pre-season 12 WBT done

So glad I joined pre-season. I am learning heaps. I had no idea how off track my mind set is. I think when you get it right, its great but when you go off track you often don't understand how badly off track you are. That said, I am highly motivated. I'm making some big mistakes and working towards replacing bad habits with good ones, but it being pre-season is great. The 12WBT forums are so good, so many people all in it together. So though I put on weight, I'm not letting it get me down because I know I am getting things right in my head.

In the last week I have learned or realized the following;
1. I have been missing breakfast ..... gettng up, exercising, checking emails, having a shower and then it's lunch time. Michelle Bridges says the majority of her clients who are overweight have been skipping breakfast
2. I have been unconsciously eating, even when not hungry

Recent Mistakes
- Today I was busy and got hungry. I saw a McDonalds and remembered someone said the sweet chilli chicken wrap was not too bad in cals. So I got one and ate it. Later, on my way home I got a piece of banana cake, thinking that was a healthy choice. When I got home and put them into the food diary I saw the chicken wrap was 550 cals and the banana cake was 330 cals. OMG. I have to just get alot more careful! I'm so glad I am learning this during pre-season. The challenge starts officially on Sept 12.

Will do;
1. I will have breakfast, muesli is my default breakfast,with lite soy milk
2. I will record everything eat in MyNetDiary iPad app. I will eat well during the day so I do not eat snacks.
3. I will brush my teeth after dinner, and not eat anything else

Done;
1. Bought Wii Zumba on eBay, not received yet
2. Bought MyFitnessCoAch, Shape Up Wii game on eBay, after it was highly recommended by DOLers
3. Went and bought Michelle Bridges Crunchtime cookbooks today
4. Can not forget saying I burned 380 cals this morning, and done exercise evey day in the last week.
5. Downloaded and using MyNetDiary to record food and exercise and weight and measurements

Thinking about;
Getting ankle weights for my walks to burn more cals in the same amount of time
Getting a row machine for exercise, probably hire one

Saw the movie Red Dog on the weekend, great movie. I cried through most of it, but I loved it and it was more beautiful than it was sad.

91.7kg Joined Round 3 12 WBT: Goal 10kg Loss

After the mid year Round 2 12 WBT ended last week, I felt so defeated because I put on weight instead of losing any, and only stuck to the program for barely a week. Others stuck to it and lost 10kg.

So I am going to do it this time.
Enrolled in Round 3 last night
Bought a new HRM and burned 350 cals today
Bought MyNetDiary iPad ap to record food, exercise, weight, height, notes today
Completed preseason Task 1 and Task 2 (actual seas on starts 12 September).
My goal is to lose 10 kg by end of the year.

When I start hearing excuses in my head to not exercise, I will just put my shoes on and do it, no thinking.
When I start heaing excuses to eat crap, I will think about how muchni want to fit into those clothes.

If I keep thinking what I have thought, I will always get what I always got.
Be determined
Do not cave in to excuses.
Every action has a consequence.